Life Lessons From The Cemetery

Hanging out in the cemetery does something to you. More specifically, it does something to your inner-spirit.

The cemetery is walking distance from where I’m staying. It’s a place I frequent often, and it’s become part of my walking ritual.

I could take a different route, but I choose to walk through the cemetery as often as possible. Something draws me there.

At first, I thought it was the beautiful landscape. I became convinced it was the solitude I craved. Now, I realize I’m drawn to the cemetery for a different reason.

Today, I found myself being pulled toward a particular tree on the cemetery grounds.

I sat down and was surrounded by hundreds of burial plots. It wasn’t eerie. It was comforting.

Have you been to a cemetery lately?

You’d be amazed how beautiful a cemetery looks during the holiday season.

The living have decorated with Poinsettias, Christmas trees, and an array of festive holiday decorations. It’s breathtaking.

As I sat there, I found myself fixating on one particular burial plot. It was amazing. Christmas tree, ornaments, lights and festive trinkets. It was a Christmas celebration.

Then it hit me, only the living can experience the holiday festivities with their family and friends!

Would this individual trade places with me knowing that I’m living with a chronic illness?

I’m certain he would!

I’m certain he would take on my current health burdens in exchange for being in the presence of the awesome people who honor him in such a publically visual way.

I’ll leave you with this.

On the Christmas tree was a large sign decoration with the word “Hope”.

beautiful visual display of love

I’m convinced the decoration is a positive reminder for all those that stumble upon this post.

Hope:
Hope you find a cure.
Hope you find peace.
Hope you find love.
Hope you find acceptance.
Hope you find…..(whatever makes you appreciate that your still among the living.)

Much love,
Marissa

PS: Walking through this cemetery has changed me. It’s going to be a constant reminder of how blessed I am to be among the living despite chronic illness!

Janet Jackson Really Understood The Meaning Of “Control”

If you have not heard the song “Control” by Janet Jackson please take time to listen to this great song!

I’m finally starting to understand why living with dizziness has been so life altering.  This condition has taken away my control. I no longer have dominion over my life. Dizziness has dominated my every waking moment for the last six years. Loosing control has manifested into stagnation. Dizziness and myself are in a power struggle. To live successfully with this condition, requires that we are one step ahead. How can we win this power struggle? We must find situations in our lives where we take our control back!

Aspects of my life I am going to take back:

My Thoughts: I often times catastrophize my life experiences. When dizziness keeps me from partaking in an event I often wallow in sorrow. I breathe life into the negative afterthoughts.

My Health: There is no excuse for me to be 40 lbs overweight (at the time of this post I have 23 lbs left to loose!). I can blame it on my  inability to exercise to Taebo but that isn’t being transparent. I eat candy, cookies, ice-cream, cupcakes, etc. with reckless abandonment.

My Time:  Being chronically dizzy 24 hours a day you start to believe you have to surrender your life to this condition. Precious moments of my life have been wasted being frozen with fear. What am I going to do? How will I support myself? How can I live a life with this condition? Will my fiance leave me because I am dizzy? Will I have a roof over my head? Funny thing is none of these crazy thoughts have manifested. My fiance is by my side,  I am living with this condition, I have a roof over my head, and I am actively searching for ways to support myself.

Once I start taking back precious segments of my life I won’t be so focused on micromanaging the things I can’t control! I won’t be so concerned with yelling at my fiance for the way he drives. I won’t be nervous when I am asked to go to dinner with my family. I will go to a movie a not be terrified of the unknown.
Dizziness, you may have won the battle, but you will not win the war!

Much love,
Marissa