Envisioning The Perfect Child, I Will Likely Not Conceive

This month’s 12-12-12 project member Andi Durkin, mother of a toddler living with Down Syndrome, has given me an assignment.

Assignment #1….

Write about your future children. Write down exactly what you want for your child. What they will be like.

* I have turned off the idea of ever having children. Living with this crazy vestibular disorder I am afraid I won’t be able to handle the daily physical rigors of motherhood. Being asked to entertain the idea of motherhood has my emotions all over the place.


I have so many wants for you, it hurts. I hope that my selfish desires won’t interfere with your personal desires. Don’t allow my personal fears to stunt your growth.

With that said….

You are perfectly healthy.

You are elegant and graceful.

You have the heart of your great grandmother.

You are self aware and not self serving.

You think of others and see the finest in people.

You are respectful of yourself and others.

You have great sensibility.

You are beautiful on the inside and out. You have your father’s beautiful eyes.

You play the violin as graceful as Hilary Hahn.

You have mastered 3 languages.

You not only excel in sports but are a rhode scholar.

You are a world traveler.

You have strong business acumen which will create financial stability for you.

I want you to find happiness on the deepest level.

May you find a man that respects you and loves you more than he loves himself.

May you experience more joy than pain.

May you not be afraid of life, but learn to embrace it.

May you leave a legacy that will make future generations proud.

Much love,

P.S. Mija, if you stumble upon this blog post, know that I love you NO MATER WHAT! I have rattled off a list of everything I secretly desired in my own life or believed would constitute the perfect life. Regardless of your personal achievements or possessions, my ultimate desire for you is to be the best version of yourself. I will love and support you and will ALWAYS have your back.

P.S.S. Emotionally spent!